Top 10 reasons to date a Paramedic

10) We are used to staying up all night


9) We are good with multiple partners


8) We are experts in mouth to mouth


7) We are the best in rapid clothing removal


6) We have our own multi-positional bed


5) We shock the socks off you


4) We always come when we are called


3) We are prepared for any rhythm


2) We are familiar with Latex and restraints


And the ..1 reason to date a Paramedic...
1) Anytime, anywhere, anyway you need us!

Fun With My Mom in Florida

So over the last 3 weeks, I have had several people come down to visit wonderful me (and I'm sure that the amazing weather that Florida offers up this time of year had nothing to do with it).

The first round of visitors was my awesome mother and her coworker and friend for the last 18 years Barb. I picked them up and the first place I took them was a surprise for my mom. I took her to a building in Clearwater that had been once owned by a bank and then a used car company. In 1996 it had been discovered that in several of the windows a picture of the Virgin Mary had appeared. Here is a picture of it from the late 1990's.


From this, a catholic organization bought the building and it became a place of prayer and reflection. Sadly, in 2004, a young man of 18 smashed out 3 of the upper windows, destroying this apparition of the Virgin Mary. It is still a place for those of faith and my mom had wanted to see it, so that was her first stop of her Florida vacation. When we got there and I explained where we were, she stated that this was the highlight of her trip! I was delighted I was able to take her to see this, but was slightly put off that seeing her most favorite eldest daughter wasn't her highlight! Here is a picture of it on the day my mom was there. As you can see, the after the top windows were destroyed, the image was ruined.


The next day we went to my favorite restaurant on Anna Maria Island which happens to be the Anna Maria City Pier. It is a small restaurant on the end of a 100 year old pier. People fish and cast while others eat and enjoy the live music. You can even feel the entire pier move ever so slightly when you are sitting down enjoying your dinner. My mom and Barb shared a West Coast Steamer pot which is just a large pot with crab, shrimp, corn, celery and carrots in it. They had a good time eating it!


Barb however, got a little messy!


Our next adventure was a wonderful day spent at the happiest place on Earth...Disney World! My mom loves it there and Barb had never been. So we spent an afternoon at Magic Kingdom thanks to my amazing friend Angie. We of course had to get some pictures of this day, and my mom and Barb never let me down with their creative poses. Here are a few.


(Watch out for those wild animals!)


I think it was my mom's goal to find and take a picture of herself in several of the hats that Disney offers it's guest for purchase. Here are 2 of my favorite!



We had a wonderful time there and ended the day with a sunset ride on the ferry back to our car. Here is my mom, Barb and Angie enjoying the peaceful cruise back after a long day.


The next two days were reserved for the sun, surf and sand! We traveled down to one of my favorite beaches and Florida's number 2 best beach, Siesta Key beach. The sand is so soft and white. In fact, it is the purest sand in the world being 99 % pure, ground quartz. Mom and Barb enjoyed the day and my mom even decided to show off her sexy side a bit to the locals!


And to think this picture of my mom was before she and Barb started drinking!



On the way back to my part of the island, my mom and Barb thought they would live it up, and ride home "topless"!
(Warning: This next imagine may have explicit or suggestive behavior that may be damaging to anyone with eyes! View at your own discretion!)





Ha, ha! Did you REALLY think my mom would go topless?! Especially after her vacation started with seeing the Virgin Mary! Made you look though!

Our last day of fun was spent with some new friends we had met. Barb's cousin's live ironically about 10 minutes from me and they own 2 boats and were nice enough to take us out on one for the afternoon. I love being on the water, and now I know where I get it from. From this picture, I'd say my mom feels the same way!


We saw some amazing wildlife and got some great pictures. Here are a few of my favorite.


(These are some beautiful white pelicans which are more rare then the regular pelican that most people are used to seeing.)




The night was capped off with a wonderful dinner at the Beach House where my friend Mitch joined us. I had my second helping that day of soft-shell crab. (It was actually Ash Wednesday, so no meat). And we finished all of our meals off with a gigantic ice cream sundae! Yummy!!



I had a wonderful time with my mom and Barb and all of our friends, new and old that joined us. I miss my mom dearly living so far away, but I know that these memories will forever be with me!

A Hidden Treasure Right In My Own Backyard

Have you ever discovered a hidden treasure right in your own backyard? Well I did just that yesterday. OK, so it wasn't my backyard, instead it was across the street from my apartment complex, but do we really need to get technical? So, I had seen a small path by the entrance to my complex and many people riding their bikes and walking in and out of there, so I thought I would check it out. What I discovered was a wonderful, peaceful paved path that led into a nature preserve.


Now I was thinking, "OK, maybe this will be a nice 1 mile walk and I'll be done with it." Oh no, to my amazement, this little nature preserve was not so little. If you walk the entire thing, you will be on a 10 mile hike. The preserve is named the Robinson Preserve.


It has paved paths, shell covered paths, and if you are really daring, a path that is barely there. There is also a tower in the middle that you can climb up and see for miles. The tower overlooks a Bald Eagle preserve as well.






There are several small off shoots from the main path that take you out to the water on small piers. There is even a few places where there are picnic tables to rest or to fuel up for the remainder of your trip.




One of the trails, named the Tern Trail, is .48 miles out along the Gulf which overlooks the Sunshine Skyway Bridge. This trail I nicknamed the "expert" trail as there really wasn't much of a trail and you constantly had to look out for roots that may trip you and tree branches that may poke you in the face.



There was a slight odor as well walking along this path as it lay about 4 feet from the water. It reminded me a lot of trekking through the woods of the Lemieux "compound". But in all of the years of going through the 150 plus acres that we have, I never remember coming across dead Horseshoe Crabs or rotten coconuts.

While hiking on this particular trail, I couldn't help to think what a prime spot it would be to kill and bury a body and no one would ever know. Funny how thoughts such as that come into one's head while on a peaceful hike. I chalked it up to dehydration as I had prepared for a mile walk, not a 10 mile one.

All in all it was a great discovery and I will for sure be headed back. Perhaps this time on bike though. Here are a few more pictures I took along the way.







**Side note** Upon waking the day after this adventure, my back, butt and legs reminded me very much of my age and the fact that I am completely out of shape. But it was still worth it for the beauty and peace I obtained.

25 Things...

I got this from a friend of mine and was bored, so I though I would do it.

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you.


1. I'm very shy until I get to know someone. Then watch out!

2. My goal in life is to be on "Saturday Night Live".

3. When I was an athletic trainer I had the chance to work with professional athletes such as: Maria Sharapova, Monica Sellas, Drew Brees, Ladamion Tomilson, Kenyata Walker, Michael Johnson and several others.

4. I prolong death for a living. AKA, I'm a paramedic.

5. I picked up and moved to Florida a year ago. I left all of my family and friends. It really sucks being by yourself at times.

6. I love the beach and ocean.

7. I'm a secret Princess.

8. I don't camp. Camping for me is a hotel room without air conditioning and cable.

9. I have been single for 2 years...and counting. Ugh!

10. I dress right. Meaning I put my right leg into my pants first.

11. I'm a very light sleeper. I love to sleep, but I only get about 3 to 4 hours at a time.

12. When I eat, I eat one thing at a time. I'll eat the meat first, then the mashed potatoes. No mixing.

13. I hate being tall. Why is it that all tall guys like petit girls and short guys like tall girls? I don't want my boyfriend's head at my breasts!

14. I don't believe in exercise. I have seen too many injuries and deaths due to exercising! (Just kidding. I am just too lazy to exercise!)

15. I have dated way too many firefighters in my life. But have you seen them, they are way hot in their uniforms! Maybe I should try dating a cop. They come with their own handcuffs! LOL

16. I have been able to travel to several places around the world. Germany, Austria, Amsterdam, Taiwan, Bahamas, Alaska, Canada and Mexico. I still haven't been to the one place I am desperate to go to... Hawaii!

17. I have 3 tattoos and 7 piercings.

18. I'm missing 2 inches of bone in my right elbow.

19. I want to get bit by a shark. Nothing that will scar me for life or leave me without a limb. Just a little nibble. It would be a great story to tell others!

20. I grew up listening to opera and classical music. My mom used to be a professional opera singer.

21. I'm going to the Pussycat Dolls and Britney Spears concert in March.

22. I have been 29 years old for 3 years. Even though I was born in 1977.

23. I'm the oldest of 3 kids, but the shortest of the 3.

24. I borrow "internet" from those who don't secure their wireless routers.

25. I gained 10 pounds in college when I was taking my anatomy of the human body dissection lab. I always found myself hungry for roast beef after I played with the muscles.

What can I say. I'm a bit on the boring side.

Some Life Lessons I Would Like to Pass On

So In my 29 years of living on this fine Earth (and yes, I have been 29 now for 3 years), I have learned a few life lessons that I would like to pass on to you, my reader (yes, my one reader. "Sniff").

Lesson number 1: There is such a thing as a "bumsicle". According to the Urban dictionary, a "bumsicle" is: A bum who freezes to death on the street. Usually found in the morning frozen solid to his park bench. As in: "The only thing I hate about working in sanitation is having to chip the bumsicles off the dumpsters in the winter." Now I realize this may not be the nicest of terms or the nicest of things to speak about, but I just wanted to point something out that I recently learned. Working for 5 years up in Michigan in the cold of winter, I knew about the problem of the "bumsicle", I mean it gets darn cold up there! But Florida, really? Last week though my belief in this phenomenon which I thought was only limited to the North was proved wrong. I had a patient that was a true "bumsicle"! Now my patient didn't die, otherwise I wouldn't be writing this...I'm not that heartless, but he did make me stop to think a bit. Let me set the scene: 1am, about 50 degrees outside and we are on the property of the county jail looking down into a 20 foot ravine that has a small stream going through it. And what do we find there, but a man, unable to climb up because he was too cold. And why was he too cold? Well besides the fact that he was in the water in the cold of the night, he was also completely naked! The police department figured after he had been released from jail a few hours ago, he went and got his "drink on" then climbed down into the ravine to take a bath! Here is what he kind of looked like.


I really felt bad for the guy, I mean I do have a heart. We tried everything to warm him up on the way to the hospital, with the exception of me using my own body heat to warm him. I'm not that nice! When we got to the hospital, the patient's core temperature was 91 degrees Fahrenheit! A normal temperature is 98.6, so you see he had a slight problem! Brrrr, cold! So what is the life lesson you may be asking yourself? If you need to bathe outdoors, please do so when the temperature is above 70 degrees, or, don't completely strip naked. Just do a little wipe down. That's all I'm saying.


Lesson number 2: You are never too old to still have a crush on your teen idols! In a previous blog I wrote that I was going to the New Kids on the Block reunion tour. It took place 2 weeks ago and let me tell you, I totally felt 13 again! The crowd had changed of course to what I had remembered, no screaming 13-17 year old girls. It was now thousands screaming 30-40 year old women that were beyond horny! And I was right there, screaming along with them! All of the feelings I had for those 5 guys so many years ago came flooding back. However, now as an adult, I knew exactly what those feelings really meant and what I would do with them if I could get them in a room alone for 5 minutes! OK, I may need 25 minutes! So the lesson in this is, let yourself act like you are 13 again every once in awhile! We all live and work in very stressful times, so forgetting about responsibilities and letting yourself dream for a minute is a great thing! Just remember, don't get to caught up in that dream. I learned that lesson the hard way when I had to drive home without my bra, as I had thrown it on stage to one of the New Kids!




Lesson number 3: We have all, at sometime in our life, been a victim of fashion. At the time we may have thought we looked super cool, but when you look back on the pictures later in life, realize that you were wrong. Case and point number 1. A 7 year old white girl should NOT have a Jheri curl! Here is a picture of that horrible fashion trend from the 80's in case you had blocked it from your mind.


Now, here is a picture of me on my 7th birthday! Please, do not laugh too hard...


Have you caught your breath yet? I'm sure when I return from my trip back home for Christmas, I will have many more "bad fashion" pictures from the 80's!
And case and point number 2. Peg rolled pants were NOT cool looking! Neither were colored jeans and white socks!


And you have to just love my pose! I so should have been a model. I mean look how photogenic I am!

So there you have 3 life lessons to take and ponder. This blog will forever be on "to be continued" status, as I know I will remember and learn more as I turn 29 for the 4th time! Perhaps the ultimate life lesson I can share with you is this, remember to laugh everyday. Laughter, I believe, is the best medicine. Hopefully I have accomplished this by having you, my one reader, laugh at how I view life.

You know the old saying about wearing clean underwear?

I'm not sure if any of your mother's ever told you, "make sure and put on clean underwear before you go out in case you get into an accident!"? But mine did. All I have to say is, forget about the underwear, because more then likely if you are in an accident, you will probably soil them during your horrific event, or they will be cut off by the medical professionals. So here is my public service announcement for all of my readers. What you really need to concentrate on is...personal hygiene! What do I mean by this you might ask? Well, let us just say, if it looks like you have "Buckwheat in a headlock" between your legs, you need to let him go!


Seriously, when a paramedic, nurse or doctor is assessing you for injuries, they should not have to find Chewbacca staring back at them!


Believe me, that can be a very frightening experience for someone that is there to help you.

There are many ways to fix this problem. Trimming, combing, tweezing and several different versions of waxing. You have the bikini wax, and if you are really brave, the Brazilian which will not only bring you to tears, but you may even scream out "Yooooooooow, Kelly Clarkson!"



And don't think for one minute that I am directly aiming this advisement toward women, you men are just as guilty. It is not attractive to anyone if you carry around Willy Nelson's beard between your legs! Your "twig and berries" should not be wearing a fur coat!

So that is my rant for the day. I hope you all take my advice to heart and think about the poor people that may be affected by this growing problem in our society. Thank you for your time.

(The views expressed by Lifesurfer is not necessarily those of the host blog site.)