Thursday, November 20, 2008

Some Life Lessons I Would Like to Pass On

So In my 29 years of living on this fine Earth (and yes, I have been 29 now for 3 years), I have learned a few life lessons that I would like to pass on to you, my reader (yes, my one reader. "Sniff").

Lesson number 1: There is such a thing as a "bumsicle". According to the Urban dictionary, a "bumsicle" is: A bum who freezes to death on the street. Usually found in the morning frozen solid to his park bench. As in: "The only thing I hate about working in sanitation is having to chip the bumsicles off the dumpsters in the winter." Now I realize this may not be the nicest of terms or the nicest of things to speak about, but I just wanted to point something out that I recently learned. Working for 5 years up in Michigan in the cold of winter, I knew about the problem of the "bumsicle", I mean it gets darn cold up there! But Florida, really? Last week though my belief in this phenomenon which I thought was only limited to the North was proved wrong. I had a patient that was a true "bumsicle"! Now my patient didn't die, otherwise I wouldn't be writing this...I'm not that heartless, but he did make me stop to think a bit. Let me set the scene: 1am, about 50 degrees outside and we are on the property of the county jail looking down into a 20 foot ravine that has a small stream going through it. And what do we find there, but a man, unable to climb up because he was too cold. And why was he too cold? Well besides the fact that he was in the water in the cold of the night, he was also completely naked! The police department figured after he had been released from jail a few hours ago, he went and got his "drink on" then climbed down into the ravine to take a bath! Here is what he kind of looked like.


I really felt bad for the guy, I mean I do have a heart. We tried everything to warm him up on the way to the hospital, with the exception of me using my own body heat to warm him. I'm not that nice! When we got to the hospital, the patient's core temperature was 91 degrees Fahrenheit! A normal temperature is 98.6, so you see he had a slight problem! Brrrr, cold! So what is the life lesson you may be asking yourself? If you need to bathe outdoors, please do so when the temperature is above 70 degrees, or, don't completely strip naked. Just do a little wipe down. That's all I'm saying.


Lesson number 2: You are never too old to still have a crush on your teen idols! In a previous blog I wrote that I was going to the New Kids on the Block reunion tour. It took place 2 weeks ago and let me tell you, I totally felt 13 again! The crowd had changed of course to what I had remembered, no screaming 13-17 year old girls. It was now thousands screaming 30-40 year old women that were beyond horny! And I was right there, screaming along with them! All of the feelings I had for those 5 guys so many years ago came flooding back. However, now as an adult, I knew exactly what those feelings really meant and what I would do with them if I could get them in a room alone for 5 minutes! OK, I may need 25 minutes! So the lesson in this is, let yourself act like you are 13 again every once in awhile! We all live and work in very stressful times, so forgetting about responsibilities and letting yourself dream for a minute is a great thing! Just remember, don't get to caught up in that dream. I learned that lesson the hard way when I had to drive home without my bra, as I had thrown it on stage to one of the New Kids!




Lesson number 3: We have all, at sometime in our life, been a victim of fashion. At the time we may have thought we looked super cool, but when you look back on the pictures later in life, realize that you were wrong. Case and point number 1. A 7 year old white girl should NOT have a Jheri curl! Here is a picture of that horrible fashion trend from the 80's in case you had blocked it from your mind.


Now, here is a picture of me on my 7th birthday! Please, do not laugh too hard...


Have you caught your breath yet? I'm sure when I return from my trip back home for Christmas, I will have many more "bad fashion" pictures from the 80's!
And case and point number 2. Peg rolled pants were NOT cool looking! Neither were colored jeans and white socks!


And you have to just love my pose! I so should have been a model. I mean look how photogenic I am!

So there you have 3 life lessons to take and ponder. This blog will forever be on "to be continued" status, as I know I will remember and learn more as I turn 29 for the 4th time! Perhaps the ultimate life lesson I can share with you is this, remember to laugh everyday. Laughter, I believe, is the best medicine. Hopefully I have accomplished this by having you, my one reader, laugh at how I view life.