Some Life Lessons I Would Like to Pass On

So In my 29 years of living on this fine Earth (and yes, I have been 29 now for 3 years), I have learned a few life lessons that I would like to pass on to you, my reader (yes, my one reader. "Sniff").

Lesson number 1: There is such a thing as a "bumsicle". According to the Urban dictionary, a "bumsicle" is: A bum who freezes to death on the street. Usually found in the morning frozen solid to his park bench. As in: "The only thing I hate about working in sanitation is having to chip the bumsicles off the dumpsters in the winter." Now I realize this may not be the nicest of terms or the nicest of things to speak about, but I just wanted to point something out that I recently learned. Working for 5 years up in Michigan in the cold of winter, I knew about the problem of the "bumsicle", I mean it gets darn cold up there! But Florida, really? Last week though my belief in this phenomenon which I thought was only limited to the North was proved wrong. I had a patient that was a true "bumsicle"! Now my patient didn't die, otherwise I wouldn't be writing this...I'm not that heartless, but he did make me stop to think a bit. Let me set the scene: 1am, about 50 degrees outside and we are on the property of the county jail looking down into a 20 foot ravine that has a small stream going through it. And what do we find there, but a man, unable to climb up because he was too cold. And why was he too cold? Well besides the fact that he was in the water in the cold of the night, he was also completely naked! The police department figured after he had been released from jail a few hours ago, he went and got his "drink on" then climbed down into the ravine to take a bath! Here is what he kind of looked like.


I really felt bad for the guy, I mean I do have a heart. We tried everything to warm him up on the way to the hospital, with the exception of me using my own body heat to warm him. I'm not that nice! When we got to the hospital, the patient's core temperature was 91 degrees Fahrenheit! A normal temperature is 98.6, so you see he had a slight problem! Brrrr, cold! So what is the life lesson you may be asking yourself? If you need to bathe outdoors, please do so when the temperature is above 70 degrees, or, don't completely strip naked. Just do a little wipe down. That's all I'm saying.


Lesson number 2: You are never too old to still have a crush on your teen idols! In a previous blog I wrote that I was going to the New Kids on the Block reunion tour. It took place 2 weeks ago and let me tell you, I totally felt 13 again! The crowd had changed of course to what I had remembered, no screaming 13-17 year old girls. It was now thousands screaming 30-40 year old women that were beyond horny! And I was right there, screaming along with them! All of the feelings I had for those 5 guys so many years ago came flooding back. However, now as an adult, I knew exactly what those feelings really meant and what I would do with them if I could get them in a room alone for 5 minutes! OK, I may need 25 minutes! So the lesson in this is, let yourself act like you are 13 again every once in awhile! We all live and work in very stressful times, so forgetting about responsibilities and letting yourself dream for a minute is a great thing! Just remember, don't get to caught up in that dream. I learned that lesson the hard way when I had to drive home without my bra, as I had thrown it on stage to one of the New Kids!




Lesson number 3: We have all, at sometime in our life, been a victim of fashion. At the time we may have thought we looked super cool, but when you look back on the pictures later in life, realize that you were wrong. Case and point number 1. A 7 year old white girl should NOT have a Jheri curl! Here is a picture of that horrible fashion trend from the 80's in case you had blocked it from your mind.


Now, here is a picture of me on my 7th birthday! Please, do not laugh too hard...


Have you caught your breath yet? I'm sure when I return from my trip back home for Christmas, I will have many more "bad fashion" pictures from the 80's!
And case and point number 2. Peg rolled pants were NOT cool looking! Neither were colored jeans and white socks!


And you have to just love my pose! I so should have been a model. I mean look how photogenic I am!

So there you have 3 life lessons to take and ponder. This blog will forever be on "to be continued" status, as I know I will remember and learn more as I turn 29 for the 4th time! Perhaps the ultimate life lesson I can share with you is this, remember to laugh everyday. Laughter, I believe, is the best medicine. Hopefully I have accomplished this by having you, my one reader, laugh at how I view life.

You know the old saying about wearing clean underwear?

I'm not sure if any of your mother's ever told you, "make sure and put on clean underwear before you go out in case you get into an accident!"? But mine did. All I have to say is, forget about the underwear, because more then likely if you are in an accident, you will probably soil them during your horrific event, or they will be cut off by the medical professionals. So here is my public service announcement for all of my readers. What you really need to concentrate on is...personal hygiene! What do I mean by this you might ask? Well, let us just say, if it looks like you have "Buckwheat in a headlock" between your legs, you need to let him go!


Seriously, when a paramedic, nurse or doctor is assessing you for injuries, they should not have to find Chewbacca staring back at them!


Believe me, that can be a very frightening experience for someone that is there to help you.

There are many ways to fix this problem. Trimming, combing, tweezing and several different versions of waxing. You have the bikini wax, and if you are really brave, the Brazilian which will not only bring you to tears, but you may even scream out "Yooooooooow, Kelly Clarkson!"



And don't think for one minute that I am directly aiming this advisement toward women, you men are just as guilty. It is not attractive to anyone if you carry around Willy Nelson's beard between your legs! Your "twig and berries" should not be wearing a fur coat!

So that is my rant for the day. I hope you all take my advice to heart and think about the poor people that may be affected by this growing problem in our society. Thank you for your time.

(The views expressed by Lifesurfer is not necessarily those of the host blog site.)

There are some weird people here in Florida!

So, most of you know that I work as a paramedic. I have been doing this now for 6 years and have met some amazing people. However, there are times when you meet people, and you just shake your head and ask yourself, "God must have an unbelievable sense of humor to create someone like I just met!" I'll give you two examples of what I mean.

A couple of weeks ago we got called to a intoxicated man that decided he wanted to go swimming in a pond by his apartment. Sounds like a great thing to do after drinking doesn't it? The police had "fished" him out before I got there, so I didn't get to do any kind of a "water rescue", but we still had to bring him to the hospital because he was too drunk to stay there. As we were helping him to the cot, I asked if he had any ID on him. He told me that he did in his pocket, so my partner went to get it. Now, when you are told that the man you are searching has a wallet on him, and he has a bulge in his front pocket, you would assume it was that wallet that you were looking for, right? Nope. So my partner went to pull out what we thought was a wallet, but instead she pulled out...a soaking box of Mac and Cheese!


Seriously! All I hear is my partner saying, "well that is interesting", so I turned around to look at what she was commenting about. I almost wet my pants when I saw the water logged box. I asked the man why he had a box of Mac and Cheese in his pocket, and he told me calmly, "I was going to make dinner later. I have tuna in the other pocket." That is when I lost it! Who carries Mac and Cheese and tuna in their pockets? And who thinks making dinner after swimming in a pond with your food in your pocket is a good idea? I guess it is true, alcohol really does impair your judgement!

So my next nominee for "the most smartest person in the world" goes to a guy I brought to the hospital just this past week. We had been called out to a house (and I use that word lightly as this "house" was actually a single wide trailer that had been made into a duplex), for an assault. A man, in his mid 40's had told us along with the police, that he had been attacked by his girlfriend. OK, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt, well, until I saw his girlfriend. She was about 5 foot nothing, a 100 pounds soaking wet, and did I mention...80! With no teeth! This is kind of what she looked like.


I asked him if he had been gummed to death?! So I helped him to the cot, when I noticed it...the man was wearing...women, lacy panties! I so wanted to ask that burning question, "so is that Victoria's Secret? She sells man panties?", but I didn't. I tried with all of my might to not laugh out loud, and managed to do so, but, I also pointed out these panties to all of the fire fighters that were standing around. I made it to the hospital without incident, and of course thought in my report to the nurse I should point out the panties on my patient. The nurse waited no time in saying, "nice panties, where did you get them?". Again, I lost it! What I didn't expect, was my patient to start this long explanation of why he was wearing the panties. According to my patient, he is allergic to cotton and really likes the soft feel of the silk on his, shall we say, "man parts". I did tell him they make men underwear in silk, but he said he liked the lace on these. Are you serious? I thanked him for at least not going "commando", and walked away. A few minutes later, as I was finishing my report, I heard the patient yell with the top of his lungs, from his room, "I'm allergic to cotton, and I like the way these feel!"

See what I mean, God has a genius sense of humor...and apparently, so do I!

The countdown to...NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK!!

(courtesy www.dose.ca)

OK, now that you have hopefully stopped laughing at the title, I totally have to say that I am now in official countdown mode to the New Kids on the Block comeback tour 2008 which I have tickets for! 2 months baby! I know, I'm a total tool, but let me tell you how much I loved them when I was 13...not only was my entire room plastered in posters so that it literally was New Kids wallpaper, but I had the bed sheets, shirts, hats, buttons, all of their tapes and even one of their dolls! I got the Joey doll because the others were sold out, but he was still hot. My sister's Barbie totally liked him better then gay old Ken! My favorite "Kid" was Jordan. Oh my gosh was he cute! And have you seen him, or really any of the "Kids" lately...um, still hotties!


(courtesy www.boston.com)

Too bad they are all married with kids...and contrary to most people's beliefs back then, non of them turned out gay!

I loved Jordan so much, and I'm totally not kidding about this, but I had his haircut! (And no, no pictures will be posted of this!) But lets just say, short hair and a tail. The tail was a bit of a novelty item as I remember a few friends that were bored in Junior High classes and would braid it.

The New Kids on the Block were my first concert ever when I was 13. I went to the Ionia Free Fair with my mom, a friend of mine, my cousin and her friend. It was just before they really hit it big, but OH MY GOSH were there a lot of people! We at first were really close to the stage, as it was standing room only on the field, but ended up moving back to the bleachers as to not get crushed by the onslaught of screaming teenagers. We ended up so far back, that it was a bit hard telling the "Kids" apart from each other. But, I totally didn't care, because it was awesome! And unlike many people, I never got sick of them when they became "overexposed". I still have like 3 VHS tapes full of interviews that I would tape from the TV. Boy, was I sheltered! LOL

So when I heard the unbelievable news that I never thought I would hear in my lifetime of them going on a reunion tour, I knew I couldn't miss seeing them one more time! And not only are they bringing back all of their classics, but they are recording brand new music so new generations of people can enjoy them.

So the concert that I am attending is here in Tampa on November the 2nd, and I still don't know what I'm going to wear! I was going to see if my dad had any of my old shirts or hats from almost 20 years ago, but thought better. My dad likes to pack everything in moth balls, and that is totally not how I want to smell when I see my "Kids" again! I opted not to buy the most expensive tickets, only because I'm a paramedic and live paycheck to paycheck. But the seats are not that bad, and I was smart and bought 2 tickets. 1 for me, and one for whomever I can "force" into going with me. So I asked my work partner/friend if she wanted to go with me. Now, sidebar about this girl...Shannon likes the same kind of music that I do for the most part, and we have a great time when we hang out, but she is 23! So, when I was 13 and enjoy the New Kids for the first time, she was 5! So needless to say, she isn't as into them as I am. So we will see who I can end up getting to go with me. But, if it comes to it, I'll totally go by myself!

So after November 2nd, watch out for a post concert blog, and I will have pictures! I'm such a tool, but I don't care!

Thank you Hurricane Gustav for these wonderful waves!

So far in the 2008 hurricane season, the East coast and Northern part of the state of Florida were flooded by a never leaving Tropical Storm Fay. Now in the Gulf of Mexico, we have Hurricane Gustav about to make landfall almost in the exact same location as Hurricane Katrina did in 2005, devastating New Orleans. I pray for everyone that is in the path of Gustav, as it has become a major storm and will again bring damage to the Gulf coast. The only upside to this storm, and I know, I'm in a small minority that sees an upside, is that it is bringing a huge swell to my area of Florida. So what does that mean? SURFING!! And not just surfing, but "epic" surfing for this area of Florida. The Gulf side, contrary to popular belief, does not get the waves as say the East coast, so when anything kicks the swell up, believe me, there isn't a parking spot to be found!
I got up and headed out around 2:30pm. When I got to the beach, there was about 500 other surfers already out!




I'm going to digress here for a minute to give you a brief background of my surfing career. I started surfing at Cocoa Beach the fall of 1999 when I was working at Disney. The first time I went out, I had no idea what I was doing and it showed! I ended up eating a good portion of the beach and several days later was still finding sand in places I didn't know it could lodge! When I moved back to Michigan I put it aside for awhile and when I moved back to Florida for the second time in 2000, picked it up again. I then continued the sport back in Michigan in the freezing cold water of the lake. Believe it or not, you can surf Lake Michigan. The waves are not the best, but when you love the sport, you will brave 45 degree water for a 2 foot swell!


And I'm not the only crazy surfer that braved the waters of Lake Michigan. Here are some shots my brother took one day when the winds had kicked up a pretty good swell.



I used to have 3 surfboards and 2 bodyboards. I sold 2 of my boards and just kept my longboard as it suits me better. However, in February of 2005, I slipped on some ice at a patient's house and shattered my right elbow. 3 years and 2 surgeries later, I still don't have the strength I need to surf as much as I would like, so now I stick mainly to bodyboarding.


Back to today's event. I first went to a private beach that I know of, but after seeing the waves and feeling the pull, I knew the rip currents here were way too dangerous to be around. I went back to the beach that I normally surf, but had to park at a non-surfing beach and walk the rest of the way. I was finally able to hit the surf...and, it kind of hit back! LOL There was a pretty strong pull and the waves didn't break in sets, so, it basically was just dive in and pray! About an hour after starting the session, I got out to catch my breath and to take some pictures.




By the way, in these pictures notice the sky. It was actually this dark out because of the storms rolling in. I was trying to get a picture of the lightening hitting the water, but was unable. Right after I took this picture, it started raining. And not just raining, it was like a monsoon! I was in the water at the time and had to get out because the rain was so strong, you couldn't see your hand in front of your face let alone the 8 foot wave about to devour you!

After almost 4 hours in the water, I called it a day. Why do you ask when the waves here are few and far between? Well, because...I'm totally out of shape! Seriously, fighting the waves and strong current for 4 hours really can take it out of you. Besides, I no longer have a right elbow as it has totally seized up on me in pain! So that ended my amazing day in the waves. And all I have to say is, thank you Gustav!


PS. In the 4 hours I was there, only 1 ambulance showed up to help someone that had been caught up in the current. Not a bad day in my books!

Sometimes, I just don't get paid enough to do my job!

So for the most part I love being a paramedic. You get to experience something new most days of work. Well, last night at work I experienced something that I had not had the chance to, and never do I want to again!
My partner Shannon and I were called to the scene of a person hit by a car. We happened to be right around the corner, so besides having one police officer on scene, we were by ourselves. I looked to see a young women laying in the road, literally kicking and screaming. Seeing that I knew this wasn't anything life-threatening, but still, we have procedures and protocols we must follow. I approached the girl and knelt down to hold her head and neck so if she had any injuries to her neck and back, it would stop any movement and any further harm. I saw no visible injuries on this young lady, but boy, could she scream. I swear my ears started bleeding from her high pitched wails! And she wasn't screaming because she was in pain, oh no. She was screaming because she was drunk, and mad that someone hit her. So as I'm trying to talk to her through her screams, my partner Shannon is trying to examine her for injuries, and that's when it happened...this 120 pound girl punched me with her right fist! She got me in the right eye and temporal area. Boy did it hurt! My eye immediately started watering and I had an instant headache. When Shannon, and thank gosh the police officer saw this happen, Shannon grabbed her arms and was then scratched by this upstanding citizen all down her face and chest. The police officer came over to help after this girl finished off her attack on us by spitting in both of our faces! I just don't get paid enough to do this! So after getting her to the hospital, Shannon and I filed felony assault charges against her. Assaulting a paramedic is just like assaulting a police officer. So now I am in bed with a headache and a swollen face knowing that next week sometime I will get a call from the Clearwater police department telling me when our day in court is. Here is what I kind of look like.


(courtesy football.guardian.co.uk)

The worst part of all of this is was that I was totally going to get my eyebrows waxed this weekend, but now I have to wait for the swelling to go down! Great, Groucho Marx here I come!


(courtesy www.16-9.dk)

Van Stock ... the history

I have been very blessed in growing up in a family that is extremely talented in the music department (although I did not receive this "gift"). My mom is from a family of 12 children. Almost all of them have this amazing "gift" of music. My mom for example used to be a professional opera singer. Through out her teen and early adult years, she performed in a number of places including starring several times in musical productions. She has since given up performing, but still sings on a daily basis. As children, my younger sister and brother and I grew up with an appreciation for music which included traditional radio play songs, but also musicals and opera. In fact, one of our favorite movies was the Academy Award winning "Amadeus".

(courtesy www.impawards.com)

Not only has my mom been involved in the music field, but I have 3 uncles that were in bands, an aunt that can sing the Hell out of the Beatles hit "Oh Darlin", and a few others that music is just a hobby. I even have a cousin who is a professional drummer that has been in bands, including the heavy metal group "Unearth", which toured all over the world, including performing in the always exciting "Ozzfest".

(courtesy www.decibelmagazine.com)


So with all of this talent amongst us, it was only time before we brought it all together on one stage for an all day concert. So around 1994 our family started the tradition of "Van Stock". The name is taken from the very famous "Woodstock" and the family's last name of Van Lente. We hold it at the family's farm which actually has a recording studio and a outdoor stage.





Although the party is really only one day, there is always a pre-party the night before where everyone shows up and just "jams" the night away. Several people camp out with tents and trailers for the weekend as so they can take in all of the activities.




Not only do we enjoy amazing live music all day long, but we have the most delicious home cooked food, and always enough family and friends to keep entertained. We even have fireworks and a bonfire that the Devil himself would be proud of!

So why am I blogging about this crazy family tradition, because I have just returned from this years party. It was, as it is every year, amazing!

My "little slice of Heaven" part 2

So in an effort to find a new career, and the fact that I LOVE the beach and ocean, I thought maybe I could just be a photographer! Here are a few more pictures of the beach I go to. I was bored today, so I tried to be creative. You decide if I should pursue this career choice, or just make it a hobby. Enjoy!









Ok, so I still need some practice. For now I will keep it my hobby. But if you think these pictures are nice, you really need to come down and see the place in person. I, nor anyone can not do this natural beauty justice!

Arr Mate!

In the 9 years since I graduated college, (yes 9 years), I have had certain experiences that stick out in what some my term a "professional high". Let me explain a bit further. Since college, I have worked 3 very different jobs. Each have had there own unique qualities, and each have had at least one experience that I will always remember. After college, I worked for a year and a half as a nursing assistant on a cardiovascular rehabilitation floor. For the most part, I normally wouldn't even consider mentioning that I did this, except for one very special patient that I helped. I had the pleasure of meeting and taking care of a man that seriously could have been Nelson Mandela's twin! Every morning around 5 am, this man would be awake, clean shaven and always smelling of a wonderful cologne.  Out of curiosity as to why someone his age would be awake at such an early hour, he told me had been in the military for years.  And not only had he been in the military, he had been an original Tuskegee Airman! If you are unfamiliar with the history of these men, they were America's first black military airmen. These brave young men fought for our freedom at a time when there were many people who thought that black men lacked intelligence, courage, skill and patriotism.  It was such an honor to visit with this hero every morning before all of the other patients were awake.  I can not imagine what he in his early years had to go through, and I have yet to this day to meet someone who had kinder eyes then this man.  To read up on the history of these men, check out the website that is dedicated to telling of their stories. www.tuskegeeairmen.org

(courtesy kohm.org)

Now the next career I chose to pursue for a few years after the hospital was that of an athletic trainer. This was actually what I had received a Bachelor of Science degree in from college.  Basically, I took care of athletes before, during or after they had been injured. Most people, especially females who choose this career, spend most of their time working with high school or college aged athletes.  In my few years of working in this field, I actually had the privilege to travel to many places around Michigan, along with a 2 week tour of Germany, and eventually I worked for 4 months at Disney World's Wide World of Sports.  Then after returning from Disney, I had the opportunity to work again in Florida for a private academy that trained both amateur and professional athletes in many different sports. There were 2 times that usually stick out in my mind about this time in my career. I'm a pretty tall and athletic girl. I don't ever feel "petite" next to any female for the most part. That was until the day I worked with Serena Williams.

(courtesy elsarings.com)

Have you seen this girl? Seriously, she's really tall...and strong! (She just lost to her sister Venus in the finals of Wimbledon). So not only do I now feel "petite" as I am taking care of her in my workout facility, but also having to kick off her little "ankle biter" of a dog that is running loose! Who brings a dog into a gym, really?!   But that experience doesn't even take the cake when it comes to this particular career.  And it wasn't even until a few years after meeting and working with this teenager, did I even realize the significance of it.  And if I could have seen into the future of what this 14 year old tennis phenom would have become, I would have definitely stayed in touch with her.  (She made 21 million dollars last year!)  I had the wonderful privilege of working with a then 14 year old Maria Sharapova.

 (courtesy tennisinfoblog.com)

This future Grand Slam champ and number 1 ranking tennis star, was the sweetest girl that actually "inhaled" an entire Carmel apple that I had got for her on her birthday!  Then one day, to thank me for the apple, she had her mom make me a traditional Russian breakfast.  And when I mean "traditional", I mean crepes with caviar!  Um, yum?  She seriously was the sweetest, most genuine kid I had met. And her incredible talent for the sport at the age of 14, was already well beyond anything anyone had seen in years in the world of tennis.

So on to my most recent experience, and the reason for the title of this blog.  For the last 6 years I have been working in the field of emergency medicine.  The last 4 years specifically as a paramedic.  This in itself, as I have already written about a few times, has interesting experiences almost on a daily basis.  But, the other night, one occurred, that I think I'll remember for the rest of my life.  So, I can now say, and I really don't know how many people in the world can say this, have rescued a patient off of... wait ... wait ... off of a Pirate Ship!  Yup, that's right, I actually got called to someone who had gotten injured, while on a Pirate Ship!  And not only on the Pirate Ship, but specifically on the "Poop Deck" of the ship!  I don't think I could make this up if I wanted to!  So let me set the scene.  Picture it, the 4th of July, what seemed like 45,000 people trying to get off of the island at one time, with only one bridge open.  One young woman, enjoying the 4th of July, with "Capt Jack Daniels" if you catch my drift.

This young woman and that "bottle of rum" did not make for a very pretty pirate, she was more like the "wench" of the ship! She reminded me of the voodoo princess Tia Dalma from the "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies. Not by her look by any means, more in the fact that she was a bit "crazy" in her actions, shall we say.

(courtesy kidstvmovies.about.com)

She did not like me! Remember before when I said I'm tall and athletic? Well this little pirate, all 110 pounds of her, totally kicked my "booty"! Believe me, if I could have, I would have made her "walk the plank"! All I can say is, thank gosh for my friend "Captain Haldol"!

And not that anything else during this daring rescue should have amused me, but when the patient's boyfriend showed up in a fake pirate hat and a drawn on mustache, let's just say, Captain Jack Sparrow (aka Johnny Depp) you ain't!

(courtesy home.btconnect.com)

My "little slice of Heaven"

So with the rising gas prices and the fact that I am now paying almost $400.00 dollars a month to get to work (I make a 100 mile round trip 3-4 times a week), I thought I would let everyone in on why, to me, where I live justifies this ridiculous expense.   I moved back to what I consider my "little slice of Heaven"... that is until I can permanently live in Mexico, Hawaii or Fiji!  

I don't consider myself a great photographer, but I have to say, these pictures I took, are not that bad!  Enjoy!

A beautiful sunset overlooking the Gulf of Mexico.

Same picture, I was just trying to be creative.

This is taken at my favorite beach.  The area is very private, with many old trees that have been blown over by storms.  I have actually been walking here and believe it or not, come across a topless calender shoot!  

This is that same area of the beach.  I just loved the way the waves were crashing onto this old tree.

Most days on this beach, you are the only one there.

Sometimes it can be a bit tricky getting around.  When it's high tide, the water is up to your thighs.  But, under the water lies all of the exposed roots from the trees near by.  Watch your step!  

See, even the birds love it here!

Um, I don't think I need to explain the beauty in this picture!  Do I?!

This picture and the next were taken before a small storm hit.  The clouds were amazing!

My mom was with me when I took this picture, and when she saw lighting coming down from this storm cloud, she immediately got out of the ocean.  It was pretty funny actually!

This is a different beach that I go to where I can surf.

I took this picture after a couple hours of surfing.  Even with a wet suit on, I was so cold after I got out that my feet where white.  What is funny is that being from Michigan, I should be used to freezing water!   But the ocean this day was only 65 degrees!  If I were to go in it tomorrow, it would be a boiling 87 degrees!  I'm not sure which is worse?!

Well those are a few of my pictures from my new home.  It is an amazing and beautiful place to live!  To walk on a beach and be surrounded by it's serenity, definitely helps relieve my stress.  The only thing that would make this place "perfect", is if my family and friends lived here!  

So until next time!